Wednesday, January 1st, 2024

Stayed up and watched the ball drop with PiX last night. We kept it more casual than last year. We didn't bother to dress up much or take photos. A lot of it was just me wanting to keep up with traditions that I enjoy upholding. 

So far tonight I've spun two records. Circle Jerks "Wild in the Streets" and Bad Religion "How Could Hell Be Any Worse?" Two early 80's records from the California hardcore scene. I might listen to some Dead Kennedys / Black Flag to round out the night. I might even throw on some Minor Threat even though they were from Washington D.C. It just feels right. I'm clearly attempting to harness a specific mood, and that mood is me being 15-16 years old. 

An hour or two ago I was in more of a death / goth rock mood, but I realized that I don't have much of that genre aside from the two obvious choices: Joy Division and The Cure. Not that there's anything wrong with either of those bands, I was just hoping for more of a Christian Death / Bauhaus mood. This makes me realize that I need more 80's goth records. 

I did take a nap earlier in the day where the new Cure album "Songs From a Lost World" played on repeat a couple of times before I woke up. I'm not sure if that counts...

I'm glad that I finally have my new record shelf setup in the room. My turntable had been set up on this horrible stand with wheels out in the clothing room with the speakers way, way back against the wall. I don't think I even listened to five records the entire time it was out there, which was about six months or so. I was getting really bummed out about it so again, I'm really glad I have this new shelf. It has room on the top for my turntable, a shelf underneath where I keep music related books (especially photography books), and a shelf underneath for records themselves. I'd like to think of that last shelf as a "frequent listening" shelf. Right now it only has "Pet Sounds" by The Beach Boys, and "Famous Monsters" by The Misfits on it. Famous Monsters because I have two identical copies, and it's one of my favorite albums of all time. Pet Sounds for a handful of reasons. One being the fact that it's one of the greatest albums of all time. Another being that I have two copies of it as well. However, this copy is the mono version while the one still on my main record shelf is the stereo mix. I think it's considered essential listening to the point where it makes sense to leave it in the "frequent listening" section of my collection. I might expand it to include some all time greats that I might not listen to as often. 

I felt discontent today. I still do to a degree. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel like it has something to do with the fact that I didn't really do all that much today. Perhaps I thought I would have done more with my day today than I did. It's not the end of the world. After all, it is New Years Day. A lot of people were probably taking it easy as well. I was in the mood to go-go-go though. 

I put on "Plastic Surgery Disasters" by Dead Kennedys a few minutes ago. 

Tomorrow I would like to pick up a shipping label that I had sent over to Staples to have printed off and possibly mail out my camera. I bought this camera in hopes of picking up photography again, but the sensor had a handful of dead pixels, so I have to return it. Shortly after receiving it in the mail and discovering the problem, my car battery died on Christmas Eve. That's going to set me back at least $200, so I've decided against getting a new camera for now. Money sucks.

I'd like to get a lot done tomorrow, but we'll see what happens. I plan on getting the car battery situation taken care of at least. 

Anyway, I just wanted to check in with myself for a bit because I don't do it too often and PiX has a fold out table set up under the computer desk like one of those keyboard holding shelves that a lot of computer tables have. I really need a new computer table as well. I need / want a lot of things. 

Time to enjoy the records that I plan on spinning for the remainder of the evening instead of having them play in the background of this blog entry. 

"Forest Fire" just started playing. 

Until next time...Talk Hard.

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024

Well as usual I haven't updated in a while. Except this time, I won't even remotely entertain the idea that I'll be updating again any time soon.

My last update was when I saw and met King 810. Since then I've seen Zheani twice and got a band to play with me as ENERGY.

Halloween was nice. It's hard for me to be happy these days.

Nothing is making me feel good. I thought that getting the band back would make me happy, but I dread the activities surrounding it to the point where I'm not even sure that I enjoy being in a band anymore. Of course that could completely change by the end of the day with my insane mood swings. I've been feeling this way since our last show a couple of weeks ago though. 

I realized today that I haven't made a single friend in my 30's. I'll be 40 in exactly 3 months. I don't go anywhere except to the grocery store and back. Social outings are a nightmare for me, and I'm not even sure that I want to have friends. 

I'm feeling really depressed right now. I hate social media, but it's one of the only ways to distract myself from the horrible feelings inside. I used to smoke weed to fix this, but now I can't. 

I'm finally down to a reasonable weight where I don't hate my body (as much). I'm growing my hair back out because I realized that it was a terrible mistake I made. I haven't been this impulsive in my entire life. I hope I'm ok. 

I don't have much else to say, I just wanted to document this horrible feeling of depression. 

I just want to sleep forever.

Sunday, August 4th, 2024

 I finally got to see @king810flint live this past Sunday at @soniamideast in Cambridge, MA with @pixiemooncave

It’s taken me a few days of rest after the fact for me focus enough to make this post(s), but here we go…

The entire experience was so cool. I love going to shows with @pixiemooncave. I just wish I didn’t have so much pre-show anxiety. I really get in my own way of having fun a lot of the time. 

There weren’t very many people there, but the energy was high. I basically had my elbows resting on the stage. I tried to keep my distance and be respectful though because I didn’t want to interfere with their performance in any way. 

It was unreal watching them play. I honestly can’t think of too many artists that put on a better performance than them. Absolutely flawless. 

They played songs from every album aside from Midwest Monsters. 

@dkgunn and @eugeneaaron were so cool for listening to me ramble on and ask them a million questions after the show. 

Things just kept popping into my head and I just kept saying everything. David seemed really engaged. We just talked like normal people. He’s really calm and quiet despite how intense he is onstage. We must have talked for a half hour, maybe more. I honestly can’t remember. 

I’m glad that I was last in line for the meet and greet though because I just could not shut up and am glad I didn’t get in anyone else’s way. I just hope I wasn’t too annoying 😬 

I brought David’s book “Summertime in Murdertown” and had him sign it. I also brought the inserts to all seven of their CDs and stuck them inside his book so they wouldn’t get damaged on the way there and back. Him and Eugene signed all of them.

I got a VIP pass so it would be a guarantee that I’d meet them. The things that came with the VIP were worth the price alone. 

I bought two t-shirts the minute I walked in the door, and their merch guy was nice enough to hold all of my belongings inside my VIP bag. 

I also noticed that they had their “follow my tears” EP on vinyl for sale at the merch table. It was the only one of their albums that I didn’t own on vinyl.

It sold out almost immediately online and has remained out of stock ever since. I mentioned it to the band and they said that they just forgot to put it back up on the site. 

However, after the show I noticed that my exclusive VIP shirt was missing from my bag. They told me that they didn’t have any more in my size and that I could pick out any other shirt design I wanted from their table. 

I was a bit bummed and slightly disappointed, but I saw what the shirt design was from other people’s bags and wasn’t in love with it to be honest. I still would have liked one just for the memory of being there for that specific tour. 

Instead of asking for another shirt design, I asked if I could replace it with the vinyl that I was missing and the merch guy said “done deal” or “sounds good to me”. Something along those lines. David said “see, you manifested that shit”. 

I opened it right up and David and Eugene signed it. I also asked why their last two releases both said K5 and David confirmed that they are parts one and two of the same release.

KING has been one of, if not my favorite band for years now, and David Gunn is without a doubt my favorite lyricist. It was surreal to finally meet him to say the least. 

I first discovered KING because I had read somewhere that there was this band who played with armed guards onstage, so I had to see what that was all about. 

The first song I heard was “War Outside”, which was the video where they had people with guns on each side of the stage. 

I remember watching the video and not quite understanding it at first. I liked the music and could tell they were nu metal. I just wasn’t enthralled yet, and I couldn’t quite make out what David looked like because he had a shaved head and was in all black jumpsuit type of thing. Gloves and all. It seems as if he was trying to neutralize his identity entirely.

Once the bridge of the song started, I began to understand that they were singing about drastically different things than the hardcore bands I knew of growing up were. 

This wasn’t the cheesy and embarrassing posturing I was used to hearing from “tough guy” bands. This was real. This felt like the person writing these words was doing the opposite of bragging about living a rough life on the streets. It seemed to have affected him in ways that he wished he never had to witness or experience. 

However, it was the final lyrics of the song that sold me on the band immediately. I won’t just sit here and copy & paste the lyrics (go listen to it for yourself). 

I could tell that there was so much more to this band than meets the eye and that they would definitely evolve and change in ways that other bands can’t. Looking back, I was completely right.

I immediately started clicking all of their videos and kept finding one incredible song after another. I couldn’t believe some of the things coming out of this guy’s mouth. It just kept getting more and more intense. Very blunt but poetic. 

To summarize this long post - Their music has been a constant companion for me throughout all of the mental and emotional turmoil that I’ve experienced over the last 5 or 6 (?) years, and made me realize a lot of things about my own traumas. 

I identified with certain lyrics literally and some metaphorically. Others just plain made me grateful that I didn’t have to go through as bad of an upbringing as others have. 

David Gunn is a genius, and I will be a fan for the rest of my life. 

#KINGISLOVE