Well............it's that time again.
Time to tour.
I can't take it I'm going to miss Julia so much, I don't even get to see her enough as it is. Everyone probably thinks that's all I do cus I don't do anything, I must just hang out with her all the time but...no, no I never see her, never mind do we get to spend time alone. She's always working to pay for us to live. And when she does come home she either goes right to bed or I'm busy doing something. It sucks. I hope we get to spend at least one day together before I leave Sunday, I'm shooting for 2. I see everyone else that I want to enough that it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't see them again before I left. No one I know has been there for me like she has(even though we've gone through our share of hard times), no one has done as much as she has, she's just the best and I'm going to miss her more than anything. Like today, I didn't even do anything until when she got home at like 9:00 I was at my grandmother's until 10:30, so I get home and she goes to bed, I really only see her for like a half an hour every day...and now I'm not even going to be able to have THAT once I'm on the road... :(
Other than me missing her, tour will be great, Josh will be coming with us, we'll be running and working out all the time, great weather, I get to play every single night, I'll see a bunch of new places I've never been to(including the western states), a bunch of new shirts, we have our new 3 song cd sampler....
which by the way, came out awesome, I've never been more proud of any recording. I love the lyrics I used, I love the melodies, Joe and Chris Curran helped out a lot with production and whatnot, overall it was just awesome recording with him. I have been listening to it all the time. It's definitely something I would go out and buy if I weren't in the band....I just can't wait to get the final versions back and have them up on the Myspace and be able to hand them out to people....It's a pretty drastic change of sound for us but....This is how I've always wanted Energy to sound like - This is the type of band I want to be in - and I am finally happy with the band's sound.
As far as things that I will be looking forward to coming home to goes:
I will be with Julia, and we will get to watch the season premiere of the office together :) which makes me happy cus I know how much she loves that show.
And we will be moving out of our apartment in like august or September or something and moving into North Stoughton Village. That place is so nice, the apartments there are like 3 times the size of the one we live in now and it's barely any more money. The place has a trash shoot inside the building so if we want to take out the trash not only do we not have to go outside but we can just walk down the hall in our pajamas and do it. There's just a lot more little things like that that make the place awesome so it'll be great once that time of year comes....but until then, we'll just have to let time pass.
Time passing....we always look forward to things, and want it to be that much further into the future....but we are never happy with right now, we've always got something in the works. It's kind of stupid if you think about it. I should just enjoy the fact that it's NOT that far into the future, and that I still have those months of my live ahead of me to LIVE. I shouldn't just keep looking forward to seeing Julia, I should be excited that it's inevitable that I WILL see her, and be ecstatic with the fact that I have all this time to live, see the country, experience things, and just see tomorrow.
Like Henry Rollins once said, "That's the only break you get, you get to live tomorrow, you get to go on, you get to move forward, and it might not seem like much, but for me, right now, it's all I'm hangin' on to, and it's all I've got goin', and it's all I'm gonna stick with."
I think that that is what I should stick with for this summer, if not, for the rest of my life.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Jun. 4th, 2007 at 3:40 PM
Well, yesterday I got tattooed, and today I got my pants in the mail....and didn't pay for either
Not bad.
Today me and the Duck are going to look at a new apartment in Stoughton(I will be wearing my newly acquired pants) that should be fun.
I have to write lyrics to the chorus of the newest Energy song before Thursday because.....Thursday we are going into WERS Radiobeat studio to record a live set that will air at 1AM THIS Saturday 6/9, and we will be playing 2 brand new songs.....and a few surprises :) :) :)
Not bad.
Today me and the Duck are going to look at a new apartment in Stoughton(I will be wearing my newly acquired pants) that should be fun.
I have to write lyrics to the chorus of the newest Energy song before Thursday because.....Thursday we are going into WERS Radiobeat studio to record a live set that will air at 1AM THIS Saturday 6/9, and we will be playing 2 brand new songs.....and a few surprises :) :) :)
Friday, May 11, 2007
May. 11th, 2007 at 7:15 AM
I don't update this as often as you'd think I would considering I spend my whole life sitting in my apartment doing nothing.
Julia just left for work, I fell asleep at like 11pm and woke up at 4:30 am, this is going to REALLY fuck up my sleeping pattern, cus it's 7:30 now and I'm wide awake...god dammit.
I'm thinking of cutting my hair, I don't know though, the pros are:
~I'll have a devilock - the best haircut on earth
~Clean shaven sides of my head for the summer
~I'll look well "groomed"/"kept"
cons:
~If I decide I want to grow my hair out again, I'll be starting from ground zero
~My hair won't be even lengths like it would be if I grew out my hair then cut it even.
~I'll have to constantly put hair products in my hair every day instead of leaving it natural.
~It'll be awesome once winter comes to have long hair.
----------------------------
I will also really look like a girl if I grow it out...not that I give a shit, which is why it's not a pro nor con. Just a situational assessment.
So as it is, I am undecided.
I could keep growing it out, and ALWAYS have the option of cutting it back into a devilock.
I want to grow it out really badly, because I've had my share of devilocks, but it's time for something new. It's really just the in between stage that's going to be tough, because there is just no way I can look good until it's long enough to cut even.
Yeah I know I have no life and all I think about is my hair.
----------------------------
I should be more excited about touring this summer than I am. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss Julia. If she could just come on tour with me, I wouldn't mind the temporary vacation away from home, and seeing the country and all that. The summer time is the best time for touring and traveling, but it's also the best time to spend time with the person you love. I can't deal with her just being a voice on the other end of the phone for like 3 months at a time. I really wish she could give up all her car payments/apartment payments/credit card payments/etc, and have her live with me on the road. That would truly make me happy. It's a real liberating feeling, having no responsibilities, and knowing all you have to do is be in a band. THAT is truly getting the most out of life. Staying at people's houses you don't know, getting enough money a day to eat, and playing music you love. But again, there's something missing in all that...
It would be so amazing if she just lived at home with her mom, I had some place to keep my shit(perhaps a place to stay too), and me and her were just gone all the time, and had SOMETHING to come back to. It's easy to leave everything, but it's a whole other story when you need that ONE thing to come back to. If only Energy made enough money to pay for a REALLY CHEAP apartment(or even the rent here) so that I could pay for it while I'm gone. My problems would be solved. We could figure something out with all the other payments on shit. It's having a place to come back to that is the hard part.
Whatever, that's all completely theoretical, wishful thinking, nonsense that will never happen. The truth is, I will continue to spend less and less time with Julia, due to heavy touring, and it will eventually come to me being home only half the year. This is the life I chose. I wonder what other people in bands do that have girlfriends that they live with and see every day, and have become as big of a part of their life as waking up and eating is.
All I can hope for is that someday I will make enough money playing music, that I can afford to pay for a place to come home to when I'm not touring.
--------------------------
that's it I guess
Julia just left for work, I fell asleep at like 11pm and woke up at 4:30 am, this is going to REALLY fuck up my sleeping pattern, cus it's 7:30 now and I'm wide awake...god dammit.
I'm thinking of cutting my hair, I don't know though, the pros are:
~I'll have a devilock - the best haircut on earth
~Clean shaven sides of my head for the summer
~I'll look well "groomed"/"kept"
cons:
~If I decide I want to grow my hair out again, I'll be starting from ground zero
~My hair won't be even lengths like it would be if I grew out my hair then cut it even.
~I'll have to constantly put hair products in my hair every day instead of leaving it natural.
~It'll be awesome once winter comes to have long hair.
----------------------------
I will also really look like a girl if I grow it out...not that I give a shit, which is why it's not a pro nor con. Just a situational assessment.
So as it is, I am undecided.
I could keep growing it out, and ALWAYS have the option of cutting it back into a devilock.
I want to grow it out really badly, because I've had my share of devilocks, but it's time for something new. It's really just the in between stage that's going to be tough, because there is just no way I can look good until it's long enough to cut even.
Yeah I know I have no life and all I think about is my hair.
----------------------------
I should be more excited about touring this summer than I am. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss Julia. If she could just come on tour with me, I wouldn't mind the temporary vacation away from home, and seeing the country and all that. The summer time is the best time for touring and traveling, but it's also the best time to spend time with the person you love. I can't deal with her just being a voice on the other end of the phone for like 3 months at a time. I really wish she could give up all her car payments/apartment payments/credit card payments/etc, and have her live with me on the road. That would truly make me happy. It's a real liberating feeling, having no responsibilities, and knowing all you have to do is be in a band. THAT is truly getting the most out of life. Staying at people's houses you don't know, getting enough money a day to eat, and playing music you love. But again, there's something missing in all that...
It would be so amazing if she just lived at home with her mom, I had some place to keep my shit(perhaps a place to stay too), and me and her were just gone all the time, and had SOMETHING to come back to. It's easy to leave everything, but it's a whole other story when you need that ONE thing to come back to. If only Energy made enough money to pay for a REALLY CHEAP apartment(or even the rent here) so that I could pay for it while I'm gone. My problems would be solved. We could figure something out with all the other payments on shit. It's having a place to come back to that is the hard part.
Whatever, that's all completely theoretical, wishful thinking, nonsense that will never happen. The truth is, I will continue to spend less and less time with Julia, due to heavy touring, and it will eventually come to me being home only half the year. This is the life I chose. I wonder what other people in bands do that have girlfriends that they live with and see every day, and have become as big of a part of their life as waking up and eating is.
All I can hope for is that someday I will make enough money playing music, that I can afford to pay for a place to come home to when I'm not touring.
--------------------------
that's it I guess
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