Day 01: 09-21-09 @ American Legion - Naugatuck, CT

Right now we're driving to the kid's house that we're staying with tonight. I am pretty depressed as usual about heading out on tour. It's always for the same reason I always complain about too so I won't bore you or myself with it. At least for right now that is.
It's the same shit every single tour: No one will stop talking about shit that I couldn't be any less interested in, and I feel totally alone.

We played in CT tonight. I felt our set was received well, but that I sounded absolutely terrible. I'm not being hard on myself either. I have no problem saying when I did well, but this was just terrible. I guess that's what I get though for failing to exercise even the slightest bit during our 2 months off. Whatever, I'm paying the price now, so hopefully it teaches me a lesson.

Robert will be joining us in a few days as our merch guy. I can't wait. He is one of 2 people who I feel I made a real connection with throughout the years of traveling with Energy. Someone who I would hang out with if they lived in my town, not just someone with a place for us to stay while we come through their town.
I think we're near the area where we're staying so this entry will stop here.

P .S.
I am going to try to update this as often as I can because I've felt really 
bad about not

documenting the last few tours that we did.

Yesterday, my mother told me that maybe if I were to leave my room every once in a while, I wouldn't be so paranoid and/or have such bad anxiety problems. I suppose this is true, but of course the paranoia and anxiety only make me want to stay in my room longer, causing deeper paranoia and anxiety, causing me to stay in my room even longer, and so on and so forth.

I don't really have anything else I want to write about, I just always take any observations that she makes about me kind of seriously, and felt like documenting it. I really haven't left my house other than to go to the grocery store for a few minutes in over a week. Most days I don't even do that. It's really dark in here most of the time too, so that probably isn't doing anything good for me either.

I don't know when I'll fall asleep today, but I hope it's around noon so that I can try to stay up all night. I don't know why I haven't been able to get on a steady sleeping pattern the last week or so, but I need to snap out of this.

Currently listening to:

Yes

Depression, paranoia, and anxiety are not desirable problems. Problems aren't desirable in general. Why then, would anyone pretend to have any of these problems? People who are truly depressed want nothing more than an escape. Could it be that you're just going around embracing the IDEA of being depressed and paranoid and aren't really like that? Maybe you just enjoy playing the dark, disturbed, "fucked up" individual because you admire someone else that ACTUALLY feels that way.

That's enough of that.

I just figured out how to sync the Energy Facebook to the Energy Twitter. This means that I can update them both at the same time by sending 1 text message. Now when we're on tour I can keep everyone updated better. I also updated http://www.ThisEnergy.com with a few things.

Currently listening to: