Jun. 6th, 2006 at 1:46 AM

it's like 2 in the morning and i'm depressed so if you don't like my updates when i'm depressed stop reading now...

i despise so many things i can't take it anymore. anytime anyone treats women like objects, laughs at the exploitation of women,makes homophobic remarks,makes sexist remarks, abuses their body,doesn't give veganism any type of thought....ughh i don't know. i can't go out and be a dick and hate everyone who isn't like me because then i wouldn't have any friends now would i?

i let myself down everyday of my life = not a good thing

tomorow the new AFI cd comes out, i can't wait.

i need to get on the ball with writing. WRITING, whether it be lyrics, journal entries, LIVE journal entries, or that letter to dana that i keep putting off writing. i get so mad at myself for not doing any of these.

on a positive note: gym at 1pm with sick routine has been going good for the last week. in order for me to routinly do anything it needs to be at a pre-decided time or it won't get done, and that in itself is a problem in my eyes. OR maybe it's not, maybe if i set a time and date for my writing it will finally happen. eh, i over-annalyze EVERYTHING.

i always think back to the days where AFI's "The Art Of Drowning" just came out and it makes me really sad. i dont quite know why, but i want to cry everytime i think back on those days. circa 2001-2003. when i used to live at my grandmother's=ALONE...

i can't wait until my hair grows long...i am NEVER going to cut it short again.

I'm not embarassed or ashamed in the least about the fact that I don't work. but i am dissapointed in myself for not having more self control,will power, and/or the initiative to sit the fuck down and just do what i WANT to do most of the time.

I wish every day was Halloween...

i guess that's it for now

thanks for reading...

May. 16th, 2006 at 11:24 AM

I'm sitting at my mom's with nothing to do.

she gave me the daily "you're amounting to nothing" lecture and went on her way to work....

she said I should be at least ON MY WAY to being sucessful, and she's dissapointed that she can't depend on me. 

Not my fault she chose the most dreadful life path desireable (In my eyes at least)

It really didn't get to me, what got to me was the fact that she's so hung up on paying for shit she doesn't need, and worrying about wether or not she can tell the people she knows that her oldest son is "Doin allright..."

We're all just going to die, haha, why worry?

it seems so obvious to me what path I am, and SHOULD be chosing, but it's clearly not so obvious to the rest of the world...

i know that nobody reads this

THIS RAIN HAS KILLED MY WILL TO DO ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE. if this was going to be how the weather was for the rest of my life, i would surely kill myself very soon.

OK NOW FOR THE NOT SO DEPRESSING PARTS:

ENERGY has a show this THURSDAY with GO IT ALONE/LISTEN UP/MELTDOWN....please go to this, I pretty much did go it alone a favor by hooking them up with a MA date, and i would feel bad if nobody was there...so not even really for my band - PLEASE GO its only like 6 bucks and what the HELL else are you gonna do on a thursday night for CHEAP that's better than seeing a few friends bands and THE BEST BAND IN HARDCORE(Go It Alone)??? NOTHING you're gonna get fucked up or sit around and be boring, that's what you;re going to do...

We will be recording our cd sometime in JUNE probably(next month) at the legendary OUTPOST in stoughton(most likely) and it will be out late june to mid july on ROCK VEGAS RECORDS!!!

i'm so siked on that, there's nothing i am happier about right now than the fact that people seem to enjoy my band,we have a cd coming out on a label...and we have some pretty big shows coming up...

www.myspace.com/thisenergy

I'm so happy I have someone in my life that I can talk to about anything, be cute with, and just plain EXIST contently without having to feel like we have to prove anything to each other

i love you julia


Thanks For Reading

May. 11th, 2006 at 9:16 AM

well...... 

NOT WORKING IS THE BEST THING THAT CAN POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO ANYONE.

READ THIS BOOK:

http://www.crimethinc.com/a/evasion/

lately i've been doing far more important things than working such as:

Reading
Writing
ENERGY
Hanging out with friends
Hanging out with Jullia :)
etc.

I don't ever want to get another job ever again haha

with my government checks i receive for being unemployed(yes the concept baffles me too), I will purchase a 60 GB VIDEO iPod probably next tuesday or wednesday, once i get the program to burn dvds onto my iPod from Ross, i will be able to have EVERY cd/song/music video/dvd, any type of visual or audio media for that matter, in my pocket and able to watch and listen to at any and all times...i can't fucking wait haha....


www.myspace.com/thisenergy

we have a show this sunday at the tiger's den with the distance and a loss for words, then thursday we're playing with go it alone and listen up at the same place, then the next night in Rhode Island with Go It Alone/Meltdown/Verse/Learn/Resist....

please go to one of, if not all of these shows, i will love you forever if you do... 

:)

Thanks For Reading