Jul. 27th, 2006 11:43 AM: Energy is playing Warped Tour

Jul. 25th, 2006 at 3:43 PM: Talk Hard

No matter how good things are going I always feel down at the end of the day I don't know why, I am really imbalanced. One second I think wow, I couldn't be happier, my band is doing so well, were playing warped tour we have a cd coming out in september that's all written and will be recorded at the OUTPOST very soon, I have the best girlfriend in the world. I am not searching for love, I finally have my "dream", I'm in a band that everyone is telling me has potential....I do not WORK for a living, I find a way to get through every day without punching a clock! I don't know how long that is going to last but I'm going to milk it for all its worth and blow the governments money on ANOTHER ful sleeve of tattoos!

I just don't know what its gonna takr for me to finally not get depressed every night, I probably always will, and whether I do or don't, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if my band tours the world and makes millions, it doesn't matter if I find tryue happyness in love. It doesn't matter if I even live tomorow. Because we all just die and our voices are forgotten. 

WE ALL JUST FUCKING DIE.

Jun. 6th, 2006 at 1:46 AM

it's like 2 in the morning and i'm depressed so if you don't like my updates when i'm depressed stop reading now...

i despise so many things i can't take it anymore. anytime anyone treats women like objects, laughs at the exploitation of women,makes homophobic remarks,makes sexist remarks, abuses their body,doesn't give veganism any type of thought....ughh i don't know. i can't go out and be a dick and hate everyone who isn't like me because then i wouldn't have any friends now would i?

i let myself down everyday of my life = not a good thing

tomorow the new AFI cd comes out, i can't wait.

i need to get on the ball with writing. WRITING, whether it be lyrics, journal entries, LIVE journal entries, or that letter to dana that i keep putting off writing. i get so mad at myself for not doing any of these.

on a positive note: gym at 1pm with sick routine has been going good for the last week. in order for me to routinly do anything it needs to be at a pre-decided time or it won't get done, and that in itself is a problem in my eyes. OR maybe it's not, maybe if i set a time and date for my writing it will finally happen. eh, i over-annalyze EVERYTHING.

i always think back to the days where AFI's "The Art Of Drowning" just came out and it makes me really sad. i dont quite know why, but i want to cry everytime i think back on those days. circa 2001-2003. when i used to live at my grandmother's=ALONE...

i can't wait until my hair grows long...i am NEVER going to cut it short again.

I'm not embarassed or ashamed in the least about the fact that I don't work. but i am dissapointed in myself for not having more self control,will power, and/or the initiative to sit the fuck down and just do what i WANT to do most of the time.

I wish every day was Halloween...

i guess that's it for now

thanks for reading...