Therapy...

I have always struggled with my mental health, and I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was a kid. I’m gonna skip all that for right now though.

I had a great therapist that I was seeing from 2013-2014. She taught me a lot about how and why my brain is the way it is. 

One day I came in and had to tell her that not only was my wife, partner, and caretaker of 12+ years divorcing me, but my insurance had also changed against my will making it impossible for my therapist and I to see each other anymore after this last visit.
She was obviously concerned because of how thin I was, how bad I had already been doing, and now she was receiving news that I was getting divorced, and she’ll never see me again.

She gave me a free appointment or two after that just to make sure that I was going to be alright.

I have only tried to find another therapist one time since. It proved to be a waste of time after a number of visits, so I stopped going. I could tell that this person didn’t know how to help me.

After that, I started internalizing a lot, and avoiding seeking help altogether. I finally started seeing a therapist for the first time in years yesterday. She didn’t kick me out for how much I was yelling and swearing, and she doesn’t seem to have any issues with my general lifestyle, so I guess we’ll see how things go next week.
#staveofftheinfection