Monday, August 15th, 2022

Photo by Tiffany Moon

I’ve been walking around the area with Tiffany and exercising as much as I can lately because I have to or else my bones are just going to disintegrate. That and the constant pain that I’m in has been taking a massive toll on my mental health. No one likes being around someone who is just a misery machine.

I was doing well for a couple of years there (2014-2016) when I was signed to a modeling agency because it was literally my job to constantly be in semi-decent shape in case an audition for something came up at the last minute, which was usually the case. I wasn't doing it for me.

When I was focusing on keeping a steady workout routine, I was not in much pain at all compared to how I’ve been feeling the past few years. My doctor told me back then that I was actually reversing the curvature in my spine by lifting weights, keeping the muscles surrounding my spine strong and to "keep up the weightlifting".

I started focusing on ENERGY more in late 2016 / 2017 because things were starting to take off with the band again and I didn’t want to let musical opportunities pass me by. After that tour, things just went off the rails for a bit and I lost my car for a couple of years and had to walk and carry anything that was with me literally everywhere. I was too exhausted from overworking myself physically to even keep a routine. I was also in one of the worst mental states of my life at the time, so it just wasn't happening.

Music has, does, and always will come before anything else, but it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that focusing on my physical health will lead to me creating more music because I will not be miserable all the time anymore. My musical output pretty much stopped as soon as I stopped working out my body...

At least I'm working on it now. 

Next up: my diet...