Mar. 28th, 2008

People don't listen to bands unless a record label tells them it's ok. What would happen if every label in the world went under, and every band released everything for free online and relied on shows and merch sales to make their money? Well it would be basically the same way it is now because thats what bands REALLY make their money on, except people would have to actually decide for themselves what they want to like. What a concept huh? 

Just a thought. I'm not boycotting labels just yet, because I believe that in this digital age, they will be obsolete eventually anyways. So while they AREN'T obsolete, I'm going to abide and do what it takes to get more popular in this day and age. Whatever.

Also, speaking of "the digital age" that we live in, I believe, (to a certain extent, for those of you who will take what I'm saying the wrong way, because that ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS, no one can just realize that everything I'm saying is with the best of intentions.) I believe that adding 500 people a day on myspace or however many people, is far more effective than doing DIY tours getting no food, hardly any exposure, driving for hours and hours and hours a day, and playing in front of 1 to 5 kids that knew you ahead of time, and exposing yourself to the other 20 in the room, 5 of which might like you enough to THINK about buying something, and MAYBE they will. I like playing in front of people, and I like playing live a LOT, but it just seems like a huge fucking waste of time traveling and touring like THAT. If you're playing with a band that will get like 300 to 500 people in a room each night at least, then that's a different story in my eyes. But that's not the case for me right now, so until that happens I will always see every small tour as pointless. If I know that 20 kids are gonna be into us in a small room I'll always be glad to play, but that's just not the case, that'll happen like once each tour, and it's cool and everything, but not worth the pain in the ass. If I'm going to be traveling like that, I want to be gaining as many fans as possible. I will never think that by continuously doing tours where we play in front of 30 kids each night who just awkwardly stand there to be polite and clap after each song to be polite is worth it. Sorry, call me an asshole, I just can't see how anyone would want to do that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Yes I typed all those, no copy paste, just to emphasize my point.

Even if we somehow got so big that we had to play places like the Avalon or something, I'd always do secret shows, hell, even secret TOURS, where we played under a disguised name and played for like 500 kids. But right now, we don't have more than 1 to 5 people anywhere we go, that give enough of a shit, and you know what, I have to fucking EAT FOOD when I'm out doing this, and that little of a turnout isn't gonna feed me.

I honestly don't think I'm being negative, I think if anything I'm being positive by thinking these things. I just think I look into things a lot more than most people do, because no one else really talks about this stuff do they? No they don't. Not around me at least. I come across as being a negative person a lot of the time, but I really don't think I am. I'm just ANGRY, and not complacent or passive about the shit I'm directly exposed to. HOW CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR THAT?

I just don't see how everyone can just keep all their opinions to themselves all the time, mine just burst out of me. I can't keep them in. Sorry. That's not going to change.

Please feel free to comment, debate, argue, call me, IM me, or god forbid - BRING UP TO ME IN PERSON whatever in regards to things that you might disagree with. I shouldn't be someone who it isn't easy to confront about this stuff, it's not like I'd just flip out or smash you in the face with something. I like to talk about things. I would LIKE TO BE PROVEN WRONG about all the stuff I said in my entry, cus that would mean I wouldn't feel like I'm wasting my time if I actually believed I wasn't. Get it? I'll never know if you do.

On a different note, I'm not very "old fashioned" I realized today. I don't really care about instilling "classic" values in anything really. If something doesn't make sense to me, I'm not gonna do it. Period. I love hearing about any guy doing typical girl things, and any girl doing typical guy things, I think asking permission from someones parents to marry them is dumb, I think honoring someones dying wish even though you completely disagree with the morale behind it is dumb, I think people who are against gay marriage because they want to instill traditional moral values in America are dumb, I like when people are comfortable with every aspect of who they are,I like it when ANYONE truly makes an effort to be individualistic.

I just wish I could say all these things to people in real life without it being terribly evident that they don't want to listen to me.

On a non philosophical note though:

Today I woke up and did nothing. Well I did some things, I wrote some music, I ate some food, I looked for my keys that I FUCKING lost, I watched TV, but didn't really "do" anything.

I wish I had money, I'd obviously get a lot of tattoos, but I really want to start getting more of the clothes I want. I really really want to start experimenting with different styles of clothes and stuff, but I can't without money. Everyone I know looks the same, no offense but for the most part it's true, I don't really have a problem with that though. I want to dress so outrageously that it pisses people off, even people I know. It's just funny to me that the way someone dresses or wears their hair, or wears their make-up(or wears make-up period) gets tattoos, does or doesn't shave body hair in certain areas that their sex is or isn't "supposed" to paints their nails, pierces themselves etc etc etc, can actually get people all worked up and angry. "wait, BOYS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT" "wait, GIRLS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT" I don't know it's just funny - in like a pathetic way though.

somehow that turned back into introspection and philosophy, I just can't fucking stop haha.

I need a job though for real, not only to help Julia out with all of OUR expenses, but so I can just GET things for once. Not having a job is really incredible, but I'm starting to think that maybe just MAYBE, working like 12 hours a week or something that won't make me want to kill myself every minute I'm awake(and sometimes when I'm sleeping too) might not be such a bad idea. I'd be able to afford a snack once in a while, maybe some cool clothes etc. It's just an income, so I could just save money.

I really don't want to type anymore. So that's the end of that.

Mar. 7th, 2008

prob not getting that piercing cus of a lack of money. Might be getting tattooed tomorrow. Got ANOTHER Rollins dvd today. Went to Town Spa today, was thoroughly humiliated. Then saw zach wolf doug and mike at town spa AGAIN. talked to my cousin. I probably won't get tattooed tomorrow just because nothing ever works out right when it comes to this type of stuff. I almost definitely will make an entry tomorrow night saying I didn't get tattooed. Too many things piss me off. I wish I could write more often. I wish Jere came over tonight so I could have worked out because I absolutely can't stand being downstairs alone it scares the shit out of me.

Is there something wrong with me? what did I ever do wrong? There's apparently nothing wrong with you. So it HAS to be me.


Here they come, whether I like it or not. Here they come to loot this helpless store owners shelves, with his privately owned business. He keeps to himself and doesn't like trouble. He just wants to help provide for all the townspeople. He just wants to live his life peacefully. But they won't have that will they? Oh no they wont. Here they come.


HERE COMES THE INVASION

Mar. 1st, 2008: Earth Crisis

I just saw earth crisis, def amazing. there was a real lack of energy from the crowd though, but I was feeling it and I know ExC was so that's all that matters. their setlist was:

(a series of nature sounds mixed with machines-into the taxi driver quote "one day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets")

Born from Pain
Stand By
Deliverance
No Allegiance
Forced March
Forged in the flames
New Ethic
Broken Foundation
Unseen Holocaust
End Begins
Wrath Of Sanity
All Out War
Killing Brain Cells
Cease To Exist
Gomorrah's Season Ends
The Order that Shall Be
Eden's Demise
Firestorm