Jul. 26th, 2007

I'm on tour and I'm not happy about it. I want to go home and be with Julia.

I keep having dreams that I have no control over water and the sea levels are like skyscraper high and it just kills everyone. One dream had me at the beach swimming and the current just carried me out and I couldn't stop it.

I had a dream last night that I was supposed to kill someone with someone and then the plan was to kill ourselves afterwards* my partner killed himself and I shot my cheek off, didn't die, and spent the next 10 years having psychotic episodes and nervous breakdowns about whether or not I'd get caught.

I don't like being around a lot of people.

I want to be home

Jul. 3rd, 2007 6:14 AM

Driving, were coming home early because we didn't get paid at our shows and relied on merch sales for gas, digging ourselves into a terrible debt. 

I'm so hungry, I haven't eaten anything all day and its 2:30 in the morning. We stopped taking our food money because of all the money problems. I hate this shit. I have a headache and I'm miserable from not eating.

Ill prob be home in like 5 days, and ill be home for 2 weeks, then out for 2 weeks.

Then home for 2 weeks, then out for 2 weeks.


Were driving to Atlanta right now from Alabama, playing South Carolina tomorrow(tonight).............

I'm going to snap

Jun. 27th, 2007 at 4:42 AM

I've got to stop being so negative and angry for no reason all the time.

I have nothing to really complain about or be mad about.

I wish I could take a class on relaxing and handling situations/daily life.

When I see everyone being happy and normal I seriously get jealous.

I let every single thing bother me so bad, and I complain about everything, and I criticize everything and everyone for everything I see wrong, I need to just tone that shit down, I need to just take in the goodness of everything that happens.

I don't know what's wrong with me

Maybe people DO actually want to get to know me, maybe people DO actually want to hang out and become better friends....maybe I just come across as un-approachable, mean, stuck upor something else bad..

I can assure you that deep down, I am none of those, I'm actually a very nice person and I probably DON'T hate you.....

Seems like I'm going back on what I said in a recent post but u know....maybe I'M the asshole, maybe JUST MAYBE its ME and not everyone else......

Thank you for reading this