I don't update this as often as you'd think I would considering I spend my whole life sitting in my apartment doing nothing.
Julia just left for work, I fell asleep at like 11pm and woke up at 4:30 am, this is going to REALLY fuck up my sleeping pattern, cus it's 7:30 now and I'm wide awake...god dammit.
I'm thinking of cutting my hair, I don't know though, the pros are:
~I'll have a devilock - the best haircut on earth
~Clean shaven sides of my head for the summer
~I'll look well "groomed"/"kept"
cons:
~If I decide I want to grow my hair out again, I'll be starting from ground zero
~My hair won't be even lengths like it would be if I grew out my hair then cut it even.
~I'll have to constantly put hair products in my hair every day instead of leaving it natural.
~It'll be awesome once winter comes to have long hair.
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I will also really look like a girl if I grow it out...not that I give a shit, which is why it's not a pro nor con. Just a situational assessment.
So as it is, I am undecided.
I could keep growing it out, and ALWAYS have the option of cutting it back into a devilock.
I want to grow it out really badly, because I've had my share of devilocks, but it's time for something new. It's really just the in between stage that's going to be tough, because there is just no way I can look good until it's long enough to cut even.
Yeah I know I have no life and all I think about is my hair.
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I should be more excited about touring this summer than I am. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss Julia. If she could just come on tour with me, I wouldn't mind the temporary vacation away from home, and seeing the country and all that. The summer time is the best time for touring and traveling, but it's also the best time to spend time with the person you love. I can't deal with her just being a voice on the other end of the phone for like 3 months at a time. I really wish she could give up all her car payments/apartment payments/credit card payments/etc, and have her live with me on the road. That would truly make me happy. It's a real liberating feeling, having no responsibilities, and knowing all you have to do is be in a band. THAT is truly getting the most out of life. Staying at people's houses you don't know, getting enough money a day to eat, and playing music you love. But again, there's something missing in all that...
It would be so amazing if she just lived at home with her mom, I had some place to keep my shit(perhaps a place to stay too), and me and her were just gone all the time, and had SOMETHING to come back to. It's easy to leave everything, but it's a whole other story when you need that ONE thing to come back to. If only Energy made enough money to pay for a REALLY CHEAP apartment(or even the rent here) so that I could pay for it while I'm gone. My problems would be solved. We could figure something out with all the other payments on shit. It's having a place to come back to that is the hard part.
Whatever, that's all completely theoretical, wishful thinking, nonsense that will never happen. The truth is, I will continue to spend less and less time with Julia, due to heavy touring, and it will eventually come to me being home only half the year. This is the life I chose. I wonder what other people in bands do that have girlfriends that they live with and see every day, and have become as big of a part of their life as waking up and eating is.
All I can hope for is that someday I will make enough money playing music, that I can afford to pay for a place to come home to when I'm not touring.
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that's it I guess
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