Today I woke up and went to Grasshopper with Julia and Eric. It was fun. We dropped off Eric at Al's and went to my mom's where we watched Almost Heroes, that movie is hilarious. She went home after that, and since then, I've just been just sitting here online. Energy has a show tomorrow in Haverhill at Anchor's Up with Debaser and BearTrap. It will be interesting because Mike Assatly is playing drums for us. The rest of the band practiced with him today, I couldn't make it because for one, I was on 2 hours of sleep, and 2nd, Mike doesn't have a PA so it would have been pointless anyway.
I'm certain though, that no one will show up, because we are the headliner. When I say things like that, I am not trying to come off as humble, it's just true. No one will be there tomorrow, probably a handful of people, which is fine, I'm more than happy that anyone thinks the music I make is worth paying money to see performed live, it's just aggravating knowing that most shows have low turnouts nowadays. But hopefully, I'm completely wrong, a ton of kids show up and go off, and I have to backtrack everything I just wrote in tomorrow's entry. We'll see.
We seem to get quite a bit of shit for being "over rated" or whatever else people say, but I just don't see how we're over rated when no one knows who we are, except for the few people that come out to see us, and the people online that say we're over rated. Sometimes I think people get the impression that we are more popular than we actually are. I don't mean that as "I think we are really popular" because I know first hand, that we are not. It's just that judging by what people say about us online sometimes, I have to believe that to be somewhat true. Some people just flat out hate my guts too. Which is very strange seeing as I don't really talk to enough people for them to know enough about my personality to make a good judgement as to whether or not I'm "full of myself". Then again, I'm told that a lot of the time, that could be exactly why people think that, which is equally stupid. I just don't like talking to people I don't know, simply because I don't know you, and wouldn't have the slightest idea what we could talk about. Sometimes, with certain people, I can talk to them pretty easily, and it's great, but that just isn't the case with 99 percent of the people I encounter on tour. It's not my imagination either, I'm told first hand by a lot of people that people have said negative things about me directly to them. That I'm arrogant, full of myself, conceited, that I think I'm better than everyone, etc. etc. etc. I just really wish that instead of saying/thinking those ridiculous things, that those people would just understand that they don't know me, and that it's OK for some people to be a little guarded. It doesn't HAVE to mean that it's an insult towards you. Whatever, this is a tired subject (at least in my own mind).
I should lay down now and start the horrible process of trying to fall asleep so that I can wake up in time to get ready for the show tomorrow. Also, I think I'm going to copy Josh's idea by taking a picture of myself every time I update and including it in my post. I have become so infatuated with documenting my life as well as I can by writing in this blog every day/night, that I might as well have a photo to go with each day. Who knows, maybe in 10 years (yes, as of right now I plan on doing this for the rest of my life) I'll be able to look back on all the chronologically organized entries, and be able to watch myself get older day to day, entry to entry. It's kind of a weird thing to think of, but if I keep it up, I'll be able to do it.
So eager to say "hello", but you don't know me.
ReplyDeleteYou just know what you see.
Pay the price to see the show, but you don't own me.
Before you knew would you have felt the same?