Today we played at the Raw Bar in worcester. No one cared. But no one seemed to care about any of the bands. Derek Lucente was there. We got back and loaded the equipment back into Mike's basement, then I went home. After a few minutes I was bored and headed over to Al's house. Always nice/fun/sad/interesting to go there, brings back ALOT of memories. It's 5:33 I just got back from Al's. Life is boring. Dave X says I will have fun on tour and that it will be an adventure. He said that once I get used to it, I will be happy the first month or so out...and then I'll miss being home.....then I'll go home for a month....and then I'll miss being out on the road....and so forth. I'm not doing anything else with my life and I can't just spend every single day waking up, doing nothing, maybe playing a show in a surrounding town/city, then going to bed. I want to see the world, but at the same time I want the comfort I have right now, knowing that I can just go for a walk/ride, and visit places I'm familiar with. I am completely in control of where I go/what I do/ who I see right now. It will be the complete opposite when I'm out on the road. I will do NO driving...so someone else is constantly in control of where I am, I do what everyone else is doing - thus having no alone time, and I'll be around the same exact people every day for a long long time. This is why I don't do drugs. I can't stand anything that makes me lose control of anything.
I don't know what's going on tomorrow. Just another day closer to leaving everything I know, that's all I see it as. Every personality I know will be temporarily on hold/nothing but text on my phone/ a voice on the other side of the phone.
Who knows, maybe I'm just looking at this all the wrong way. Maybe, once I go out, I will realize how much I love it and I will have allot of fun. Only time will tell.
Friday is our record release show at Roman's. I hope we play allot of cover songs. I hope we have our cd in by then... Derek Lucente and my cousin are supposed to go - that should be interesting. After the show I'm going to try and rally everyone together and go to dever for one last spooky trip to the mental asylum before I leave. I have to get one of those pocket key chain flashlights before then.
I hope everything works out and I don't go crazy.
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