It's as it should be, it's as it is written.

Quick update before I go to bed (yes at 9am). Nothing that new has happened lately. I have been writing some new Children of the Night songs with Mike the past few days. Today I got Nirvana - Bleach on vinl, and Season one of The Simpsons (yeah I know, before it was good). Julia stayed over, but I had only been conscious for a few hours before she went to bed, so I went to Mike's and hung out and worked on a new song. Matt came over around 5am and I laughed a lot. I got back here this morning and hung out with Julia for a bit before she went to work. I burned her a couple Blink 182 CDs and they won't play in the car, I feel bad.

I started writing a song last Autumn, and it's one of my favorite things that I've ever written. It was intended to be a 10 second song, but everyone in the band liked the vocal melody so much that they said we shouldn't waste it on a 10 second song. The song has 1 line - 11 words, and is around 20 seconds long, including the ringout at the end. I'm trying to make it longer, but I'm having a hard time with the lyrics. I wrote the song after watching Children of the Corn, four consecutive times in one day.

Yesterday, well today to me seeing as I'm still conscious from when it happened, I got a wrap from Papa Gino's and some kids called me a freak as I was walking away. I hate everyone. I was wearing a jacket with no make-up on, no tattoos showing, I was just some kid dressed in black with long hair - that's it. Freak. I was very polite to the people behind the counter, and just wanted to go about my business. Whatever. This is why I hate going outside. This is why I love shutting myself off from everyone unless it's to create music. I woke up at 7pm yesterday, which means I have now been up for 14 hours. I have to sleep and then wake up around 3:30 to get ready to go to dinner with my Dad at 4:30.

I don't have any real reason, besides laziness, why I haven't updated this in a few days. I seem to be the most motivated/creative when I'm about an hour or 2 away from falling asleep. I was thinking today about how when people idolize, or look up to a person, or a group of people/band/etc, they support everything they say/do. I find it strange that most people can't realize that they can like someone, and not agree with 100 percent of their ideology. No two people think exactly alike, and it's very, very rare that you'll find another person whom you agree with on EVERYTHING, if you find them at all. I think it's just that people are obssessed, fixated on the idea of a one-shot solution to all of their problems: this formula = happiness. It will never be that easy. There is no single set of rules or ideas that will solve every problem, and there never will be. I was thinking about this because I remembered something I heard about Steve Albini. Now, I agree with him that an engineer does not DESERVE points/royalites on the records that they record, but I don't think it's wrong if they take a point on the record because the point will otherwise go to waste (from what I understand, I could be wrong though). For all I know, Albini may also agree with that way of thinking, but assuming he doesn't, it's OK that I have a different opinion on that matter, and that I am still a fan of his. He could even personally hate my guts for some reason, but that wouldn't change the fact that I am a fan. People just need to realize that they have forgotten how to perceive correctly, take a step back, assess things with pure intentions, not letting anything cloud their minds with bullshit, and TRULY think for themselves.

It's time to go to sleep now. I hope I dream forever and never wake up.