Yes

I just got back from Mike's house, and now I'm bored again. My brother just sent me a link that lists Energy as one of the top 10 hardcore bands to check out, that's pretty neat, even though I am not sure if we're exactly a "hardcore" band, but whatever, I'll take it.

Here's the link: http://music.ign.com/articles/958/958176p1.html

Seems like some of the folks on the B9 board don't care for us too much, oh well, I called that one. When we posted our very first demo in April of 2006 on that board, a lot of people said that they liked it a lot. When I saw the positive comments, I said to everyone, "don't worry, we'll be the cool thing to hate before you know it." It's fine though. I try not to read public opinions, reviews, or anything like that involving the music that I make because if they're saying bad things, then you could potentially start to believe them, and then start to modify your future art accordingly. If they are praising you, then you might start believing that you are awesome, and that you don't need to pour your heart and soul out anymore in order to have people like your art. Both of those are pretty frightening, so I will stick to the only non damaging option and avoid it at all costs. I am absolutely fine with people not liking us though, because I am a sane rational human being that can accept the fact that not everyone is going to like everything I do. People mistake expressing opinions for shit talking all of the time, its pretty dumb. Everyone should be allowed to say "I really hate Energy's music, they just don't do anything for me" or "I don't believe that there is any passion behind this band whatsoever", as much as they should be allowed to say "good dudes, they worked hard". I honestly think that when I read some of the positive comments people leave about us, I get MORE offended than if they told us that we sucked. I'll take a constructive, thought out, negative comment over an empty, repetitive, mindless praising compliment any day.

Well either way, I thought it was pretty cool that we are on a top 10 list somewhere as a band to check out. Hopefully that list will get spread around on the internet a lot and a few new people will get into us.

Today me and Julia went to Whole Foods and we got pizza stuff, Donut holes, cookies, pudding, muffins, ice cream, and a lot more stuff. I am pretty happy about that. She slept over and is still asleep. I have yet to go to sleep and it's almost 7 am. I have been listening to White Zombie a lot lately. I just figured that I'd mention that. I didn't write for me and Jon's daily poetry/lyric slam-sesh tomorrow, oh well, I won't be online much anyway seeing as my uncle, who I haven't seen in like 13 YEARS is coming over all day tomorrow, so I doubt I'll even get a chance to talk to him. Speaking of that, I don't know what time he plans on coming over, but I've been going to sleep between 7 and 10 am, and waking up between 3 and 5 pm. That should be intersting.

My brother just sent me Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I am burning it to DVD right now. Julia is going in to work at around 9 am, and is coming home like 4 hours later. I wonder if she's coming over after work to meet my uncle. I also wonder if Eric will be there too. I never think of things like these until people are asleep. I wonder what my uncle will be like. Anyone that I haven't seen in 10 years or more might as well be a complete stranger at this point, so I might as well be meeting my mom's brother for the first time in my life. I just hope that he isn't an asshole. I hope that he's not one of those people that thinks its funny to "jokingly" poke fun at the things about me that are different. I hope there is just a lot of friendly conversation, and the very predictable talk of when I was "this" little, etc. I hope it doesn't turn into him giving me shit about not eating meat or something. That's what it always turns into. That, or some topic that I'm against, that they just HAVE to let me know they disagree with me on. Even if he's the biggest asshole on the planet to me, I just have to laugh everything off because he's a relative. Whatever, I just hope its not TOO awkward.

Currently listening to:



No lyrics/poetry today =(

Yes

I went to Town Spa with Julia and Eric today, that was fun. Me and Julia went back to my moms and hung out for a while. Before she left, I picked up my ipod from Eric, I gave it to him at Town Spa to put every episode of Seinfeld on it. I now have every episode of Seinfeld. I went home and Julia drove home. I wish I had more time to hang out with her. I think a lot of the reason why I stay up all night, and sleep all day, is so that I wake up and she's home.

I don't have much to update about today. Tomorrow (today) is Friday which means Julia is staying over =) She's the best. I look forward to seeing her every single day of my life. I can't see how people stay with people for so long when their feelings have clearly faded over time. Every day that passes I love Julia more than I did the previous day. It's sad to think that a lot of people are just together to be together, and they never experience actual love. They'll never know what it feels like to be able to truly act like yourself around someone else. At no point when me and Julia are hanging out do either of us wonder what the other is thinking, or whether we should or shouldn't say something. Think about how comfortable you are in your own skin when you are completely by yourself, that's how we are in each others company. She's the best.

Purely coexist
Separate from all the rest
I am you are me

Bill Hicks died 15 years ago today...

I am constantly thinking of things that bother me, but I have a hard time writing a lot of the time. This doesn't make sense.

I am still sick, it sucks. I've been trying to drink a lot of juice to make myself get better.

I feel that this post should be mostly about Bill Hicks, seeing as he died 15 years ago today. I'll start off by posting his "Revelations" video.



Every single time I get all excited about Bill Hicks, I get saddened by the fact that he's dead. I think that if there was 1 person in the world that I could choose to bring back to life it would be him. He was just an amazing, inspiring, hilarious, person, with all the right ideas for a peaceful existence. Who knows what he could have accomplished in these past 15 years. I think that at some point during every single day, I quote Bill, or bring up something he said.

I just spent a lot of time making this video and I should be going to sleep, so this is the end of my entry:

Another hero sleeps
We can only hope you're dreaming
And with joy an angel weeps
Weathered souls need no redeeming

I hear a new world...

I woke up today still feeling sick, and just sat around all day online, as usual. When Julia came home at around 7:30, we went to Grasshopper, it was awesome.

I am still sick, and it sucks. I want to get all of my books and CDs out of storage tomorrow. I hope Julia will want to as well. I'm currently putting all of my CDs onto my MacBook so that I can start building my collection back up. I wish I just had a registration key code for Senuti, then I could just copy Julia's iPod, which for the most part, has everything that my iPod had before it got deleted.

Me, Josh, and Eric are doing a BlogZine called "Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes" (Clearly after the AFI album. Check it out here: www.shutyourmouthzine.blogspot.com.

Me and Kemper have decided to have a daily lyric battle. At 5pm we will exchange our daily writings, followed by critiquing, and constructive criticism. This will help us both become better writers.

I found a song that Bill Hicks wrote and recorded. Apparently he has an entire album coming out soon. www.billhicks.com



I wish that I could exist completely on my own. It sounds selfish, but if I just lived in my own world, with no relationship to anyone, there would never be stress, or worry. No one would ever judge me, because I am everyone. Every problem that I've ever have/had exists/existed because of SOMEONE ELSE. In my world I may do things that aren't to your liking, but that won't matter, because my world is entirely different than yours, a completely parallel dimension, separate from everything that you have ever known. Anything that I can think of right now that would be a problem, is because of someone else. I'm convinced that the less people I have in my life, the happier I'll be. I truly believe that. I love Julia and the few friends that I have, but I never want to have a long term involvement with anyone ever again. Just think about it, what has been stressing you out lately that couldn't be solved by complete solitude? It's always someone coming down on you for something. I could make a list that would go on for days of things like these, but I won't even begin. Even writing this, I feel like the people that are reading it are either going to think I'm a dick, tell me that I sound mean, or something, but there it is right there: someone else becoming MY problem. Again, it sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I don't think so, because it's a way for all human beings to become truly happy, and that's the furthest thing from selfish if you ask me.

Lead me to the other side
The place where all the others hide
When brilliant stars and worlds collide
My new born world will be my guide

Beneath this veil I'll cry no more
My tears knot up a swelling door
Vacant seas left to explore
For there is no land beyond the shore

Baltimore/Day Off/Brooklyn/Wrap-Up

Sorry I didn't update, the Baltimore show was awesome, there were a lot of kids singing along, mostly to the old stuff, but that's perfectly fine by me. I spent an amazing day off with my amazing girlfriend Julia Drew, and last night we played Brooklyn, which was a little stiff and awkward BUT we sold a lot of music so that means that new people got into it, which in a way is better than a good reaction with no album sales because it means that we played to all new faces. Debaser and BearTrap had to drop off because select people in each band got sick, Kevin actually had to go to the hospital. I caught a shitty cold from it all, but nothing too serious. Jason gave me the AFI/Heckle split, and This Is Berkeley, Not West Bay, compilation which has AFI's Love Is A Many Splendored Thing ft. Tim Armstrong, pretty awesome. He also let me borrow 2 Propaghandi LPs which I still have to check out:


When I came home the morning of our day off, I walked into my room to find my Big Rig - Expansive Heart 7" that I won on ebay. I am very happy I got this:





OH BY THE WAY.......everything on my iPod got deleted this morning when I closed my MacBook and opened it again while the iPod was still plugged in....great. One hundred and something GB of music down the drain. DAMMIT. I put on make-up today for the first time this year I think. I just haven't been in the mood yet. Julia is coming over soon, and we're making pizza and watching Signs.

Johnson City

We played Brickstone instead of The Silence, and played Operation Ivy's Knowledge last.



Tonight's show was FUCKIN' awesome. We went to the mall before the show and ran into a kid named Josh who really likes Energy. He reads this blog so hi Josh! It is so amazing that people in Tennessee know who we are, and like us enough to sing along to all the words. It's night's like these that make me know that I'm doing the right thing with my life. I was floored at how good of a reaction we got. It looks like our past tours in fact DID pay off. I'm so happy right now, we're about to have pasta and cake. I heard today that Glenn Danzig will be on the new Rock Of Love as the star....but I also heard it's a rumor. That would be amazing. I don't know what else to write about really so I'll wrap this up now. I miss Julia.

Atlanta, GA - Johnson City, TN

I didn't get a chance to update yesterday because of either a lack of wifi, too short of a van ride to write during, or a combination of the 2. Yesterday I woke up at Luke's house in Birmingham and Me, Joe, Keith, Kizz, and Dose all went to the Whole Foods up the street, and then to the music store near there. We came back, got our belongings together, and headed towards Atlanta. This time, Luke's friend drove a seperate vehicle, and is following the rest of the tour. Dan, Mike, and Luke have been riding with him (I don't know his name), so there is a lot more room in the van now. We listened to a Bad Religion mix, a Misfits mix, some Anti-Flag, and I think a few more during the drive. It was a short drive, probably only 4 hours. I found out a little bit into the drive that in Atlanta, there was a tornado watch. I then found out after arriving at the show, that there was an 80 percent chance of a tornado. We didn't die. I went outside during the beginning of the show and talked to Julia on the phone for a while, and we discussed (or I discussed and she listened) our eventual plan of her quitting her job to come live on the road with me and the band. She is very nervous about the whole thing because unlike me, this hasn't been her plan all along and she hasn't been mentally preparing herself for this since age 14. I told her that when times are rough, they'll be rough on both of us, and that when 2 soul mates find one another, they have to do everything in their power to be with each other as often as they can during out short existence on this planet, because after this life, there is nothing else. It sounds obvious but it's a reality that I deal with every single day, as you can probably tell by now from reading this. I feel bad having her working all the time and having her money problems be HER problems. I want her problems to be OUR problems. I can't be happy on the road knowing she's back home, because then that's all I think about when I'm gone, but at the same time, I can't be happy at home knowing I could be out playing every night, so there's really only ONE way to make me truly happy in life. If I knew for a fact that she wasn't able to go with me eventually, I would lose my mind, I don't even know what I would do, I don't WANT to know what I would do. That thought is the only thing keeping me sane while I'm on tour, knowing that SOMEDAY she'll be able to join me in my travels.

After we talked on the phone, I went inside and watched Debaser play. They played Dead Kennedys' Police Truck, it was awesome. BearTrap went on, and then Energy. We played our set while I tried to not slip and fall from the leak in the ceiling. I think it was Kizz who mentioned that they had never heard us do Guilty Of Being White before, so we asked Keith if he knew it, he did, and we winged it. It went OK for the most part. Tonight's venue was in a warehouse with a raised level bathroom in the back. It was a really cool place to have shows, and definitely would be awesome if they could get a show to happen there that would pack the place.












After the show I overheard Kizz and Greggles talking about how they need singalong parts in Debaser's songs. I joined in the conversation and gave my input. I said that they can't be afraid to write an obvious chorus part and to maybe concentrate on the lyrical substance in the verses and give a generalized overview for the chorus, making it simple or repetative. I feel that's all that Debaser needs are parts to chant along to and kids will start going crazy for them. I see people saying it all the time online, that Debaser is one of the best new bands, but I think it would really show how many people like them at their shows if they would incorporate singalongs. After that, everyone got on rolling computer chairs, used jousting sticks that were in the warehouse and had people push them towards each other. It was hilarious:







After all of that, we packed up the van and headed to a hotel that someone got for us for free. We stayed in 2 seperate rooms. Some of us went on a long walk to explore the area, and then after that, we came back and went to sleep. I just woke up and took a shower, so now I'm caught up with the updates.

Birmingham, Alabama

Happy Birthday Julia!!!

We're driving to Birmingham, Alabama from Gainesville, Florida. It's 3:10pm. I'm listening to Bill Hicks right now and it's distracting me from typing this..switched to Big Rig. I talked to Dan and Keith about covering their song New Fist. I think Debaser has played a new cover every night on this tour, I wish we could do that. Last night they did Territorial Pissings. I will definitely appreciate the amount of space we have to move around in the van during our next tour with Defeater because it's very cramped in here. I can't lay down to sleep, or even get comfortable slouching enough to nod off for a few minutes. Charles from Get Outta Town Records/No Harm Done brought up the possibility of a Polar Bear Club/Energy/No Harm Done tour this summer, that would be very cool. He also mentioned that he wants to do an Energy skate deck, which I've been hoping for for a while now. I am now listening to Classics Of Love, Jesse Michaels' new band, they are so good. I would love to do a tour with them, that would be incredible, not to mention intimidating, touring with Jesse Michaels.

I remember our first tour with At All Costs when Mikey D., Rob, and Assatly were in the band and Skooch did merch. I remember only a couple days into the 5 or so days I felt really homesick and was freaking out in Columbus, Ohio. Looking back, that was nothing compared to how long I've been away since then, but it was the first time, so it was scary. I was recently gone from September 30th to December 14th, coming home only for a total of like 3 days. That's all of October, November, and half of December. The thought of doing that again makes me so sad. It wouldn't make me sad if Julia was there though, it would just be a new adventure. I wish I could just enjoy what I have right now instead of being so depressed about what I don't have.

My head hurts. We still have a few more hours of driving. I wish that I didn't have such a hard time writing lyrics. The music and melody part comes easy to me, but I really have to work at lyrics, it sucks. I want to be able to have at least 2 brand new songs that we could play live if we wanted to by the Defeater tour. Like I have said before, I have that song Bleeding Grey like 80 percent done, and I want to work on this other song next. I think im going to give that a shot at some point today.

Just got to the venue, Luke's band The Recluse just started playing, and opened with Twist Of Cain. Tonight's show is at the new Cave 9. I didn't know that the old one had shut down. This place seems cool. More updates after the show.




Post Show:

The show tonight was good, we covered Nervous Breakdown even though we've never practiced it and it didn't sound all that good, but we had fun playing it. It was a very small crowd but I had a lot of fun playing. I haven't been feeling very awkward lately onstage, and I like that. We went to Al's afterward and there was basically 2 tables: the table of people trying to get laid, and the table of people not trying to get laid. No one got laid. We stayed at Luke's house and we weren't supposed to swear, but I couldn't help it.

Orlando, Florida

Were driving to Orlando right now, im bored in the van as usual. Im listening to Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First. I don't think I've ever listened to the whole thing through. As a matter of fact there are a lot of Bad Religion albums that I haven't listened to all the way through, I need to change this. I'm talking to Julia on AIM about how much I wish she was here with me. I'll get to see her for a little bit, but then it's off to live my second life once again without her. I want to combine my 2 lives into 1 amazing existence. I would be so happy. The 2 things in my life that make me happy, Julia, and music, just HAVE to clash, it sucks. It's a tired subject at this point, but it doesn't mean that the feelings aren't still being felt. I think we have 2 hours left in the drive. I can't believe last night's show, it has really inspired me to keep trying and made me think that about how and why last night happened. It happened because we kept coming back to Charleston/South Carolina. If we can somehow build a fan base like that in even one more state, that would be amazing. We are definitely trying, I guess it just takes a LONG time. Right now, at this point in my life, and for the rest of it I'd hope, I'm just trying to achieve personal success. Everyone always wants me to make a career out of this and whatnot, which I would love and will always be aiming for, but I want to be doing it for the right reasons more than anything. A lot of people can't understand that. They get on my case about making money, it's always about money. Money does not decide the value of human worth. It may sound like such an obvious statement, but so many people I run into/know just don't get it. I AM PLAYING MUSIC BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I LOVE TO DO, if I just so happen to make a career out of it, that's great, but if it means that me, Julia, and the rest of the band have to spend the rest of our lives traveling the country and playing shows just to survive, so be it. Even if I was a rich and famous rock star that would just mean that I have more obligations to be on the road, so it's the same thing. I am going to end up traveling constantly, seeing new places, and meeting new people for the rest of my life hopefully, and that's fine by me, no matter how much money I'm making, as long as Julia is with me, and I'm playing the music I love. I just want her to get out of debt, give up on normality with me, and be with me for every moment in our brief lives. We can't get these days back, we have to live for today. Sounds like youth crew lyrics.

Post show:

Tonight's show was better than I expected. We played in some art studio/venue with a skate ramp outside of it. There was like 40 kids there. I was really tired during the set because I hadn't eaten anything all day besides pop tarts. There really isn't much to update about today. We spent most of the day driving and the show was just a show, nothing crazy/that cool happened, but I had fun playing. We got pulled over when we tried to help these 2 guys move their car that broke down in the middle of the street because when we went to pull to the side of the road to help them, we realized that we had turned onto a one way street, head on towards a cop. He let us go without a ticket though, so that was good. I'm really fucking exhausted right now. We are driving to Gainesville, Florida to stay with someone that we know, im not sure who though. I can't stand sitting in the van.

Charleston, South Carolina

Right now we are driving to my number one favorite place to play on tour, Charleston, South Carolina. I just hope that its as fun, if not more fun than all the other times we've played there. I wish I could eat better when im on tour, all I eat is pasta, yogurt, cliff bars, junk food at gas stations and Bolthouse tea drinks. We listened to Last Wave Rockers/Thief In A Sleeping Town twice in the van today, and Famous Monsters is now coming to an end. Dose took some songs off of my ipod to make mixes to listen to in the van. It's fun touring with a bunch of friends, but I wish it was just us in the van, and everyone else took separate vans. Im sure they feel the same way to, its pretty cramped. I can't stop thinking about Robert's place in Burbank, California. It's strange to think about how long we've already known him. Rob was in the band when we first met him in Virginia. I know for a fact touring is different for me now, because this is the first time I've ever been looking forward to visiting a place that im familiar with. The week that we stayed there last summer was incredible. I loved walking on Sunset Boulevard with everyone and hanging out at Robert's listening to Bad Religion and watching the Punk O' Rama DVD that he has. I can't wait to be in Burbank again, this time my brother will be there and it will definitely be a lot more fun. We are now listening to an Anti-Flag mix and A New Kind Of Army just played, Got The Numbers now. I love good punk music. There just aren't any bands doing it like these bands anymore. Classics Of Love is my current favorite band. I'm at least happy about that. It's just discouraging to think that the only people making good music are musicians who are already well known. Whatever, im not going into this topic again. I can't wait to play tonight. I told Kemper that I'd help him write some songs when I get home. That should be fun. Julia has been at Doctor Dickerman's house watching her dogs all weekend. I wish I could have gone there and hung out with her instead of being stuck in a van all weekend, it would have been just like when we lived together in our old apartment. I really miss that place. I get tears in my eyes and that heavy feeling in my chest EVERY time I think about it, including right now.

I just realized that I haven't talked to Jere in a while, maybe I'll give him a call soon. I don't know how people drift apart like that. One day you realize that you've been hanging out with someone on a daily basis, and then the next day you won't see them, then the next, and so forth, and the next thing you know, you haven't seen them in 6 months at least. This has happened to me with a lot of people not just him. I just said him because he was the first name that came to mind. I remember picking him up for his meetings and listening to Rollins Band, particularly the song There's A Man Outside. We would go to my apartment all the time and hang out on my balcony and in the apartment watching movies and stuff. It was awesome. I don't hang out with anyone anymore, it makes me sad. I don't have any friends (besides Julia, but I mean guy friends) that I can call up and have come over and just watch movies, listen to music, talk, go get food, and do all the things that friends do. I don't even have my own place to do that, and I don't feel comfortable going to Al's anymore, which is also why I don't see Eric much these days. This is probably another reason why I don't mind tour so much this time, I'm not leaving anything else behind besides Julia. I mean that in the sense that I would just be sitting around in my room at my mom's and not seeing anyone besides Julia anyway, so I might as well do SOMETHING. Again, I just wish that Julia could go. I also miss hanging out with Josh all the time, I'm glad that he's doing something with his life and having fun and all, I just miss hanging out all the time in Stoughton, listening to music, going for walks, and again, all the things that good friends do together. I just miss having people that I can hang out with alone and be close to. I guess I am a pretty lonely person. At least I have Julia though, she is my best friend in the world. The 2 good things though are 1. Eric is coming on the Defeater tour, which I couldn't be more excited about. And 2. Josh has said multiple times recently that he is going to have down time from touring with Four Year Strong, and that he wants to come on tour with us this summer on whatever tour we end up doing. That will be AWESOME. So at least I have those things to look forward to. Writing all of this has passed the time during this drive pretty well, we're only like an hour away from Charleston now. It felt really good to write all of that out for some reason, this thing can be very therapeutic.

Lost Equipment update:

Someone posted something in a lost and found somewhere about finding a guitar in New Jersey. They said to email them with a very detailed description, and they'd return the guitar if it matched. We are certain that its one of ours, but don't know who yet. Ill keep you updated as usual. Ok as I finished typing that, someone called and it's Dan's guitar. So now Energy got both of our lost guitars back. We still lost some records, but this makes things a LOT better for us. The guy also just said that the guitar is still in tune. This is awesome.

7:22 PM

I'm at the venue, it's a skatepark, pretty cool place. Assatly fell down the ramp while sitting on a smaller ramp. Before I forget, at a truck stop Keith pointed this out to me:



Unbelievable. That's the south for you.

There is wifi at this venue, I'm happy about that. There's nothing else to really update with for right now, we haven't played yet. I will write in this about how the show went after it happens.

Post show:

Possibly the best show we've ever played on tour. It was unreal. Charleston, South Carolina is the best. It's like the rest of the world has no idea we exist, except here. We're at the apartment that we're staying at and we're making pasta and cake soon. My iChat isn't working, Eric wanted to video chat again, I'm pissed. There should be pictures and video of tonight's show up soon. I don't even know what to say, SO many people knew all the words to our songs. Keith said it was the best show he's ever played and that's saying something considering how long he's been playing shows for a LONG time with various bands.

Tomorrow we play Orlando, Florida.











http://s56.photobucket.com/albums/g168/kyle3171/energy/